Become your own life coach

Outlined below is an easy step by step guide to starting your own plan to building the foundation to improving yourself and enabling you to be the best you can be.

Take out a large piece of paper and some coloured markers. On the piece of paper, write down three to five areas of your life that you would like to focus on. You can choose from the following, or create your own. We'll call this your "life map".

  • family
  • friends
  • relationship
  • work
  • health
  • home
  • sex
  • charity
  • hobby

You have the what. Next you need the how. So the next step is to write down specific things you will do to put focus on these areas of your life - these are your goals.

For example, you may want to be more available to your friends. Instead of saying "no" whenever they suggest a social activity, you may want to be the person who says "yes". So next to where you have written "friends" on your "life map" you can draw a line to your goal "to be more available - say YES before saying NO". Your goal may be to be more hospitable. So where you have written "friends" on your "life map" you can draw a line to your goal "to be more hospitable - invite friends to dinner once a week".

By writing this down, you will keep it in your mind the next time your friends call you. It will help you in your decision, and by keeping it in focus, you will become more successful.

The other way to keep you on track is to consider the outcome of the goal. If your goal is to be more available to your friends, the outcome of the goal may be

  • benefit to me and my friends - strengthened friendship
  • benefit to me - increased popularity
  • benefit to me - I become a more interesting person by meeting new people and doing new things
  • benefit to my friends - they have someone to share their experiences with

Place your large "life map" somewhere visible where you will always be able to refer to it. Make it colourful. Add pictures if that helps - for example, if your goal is to be a better friend, put a picture up of you and your friends in a social situation. This is what you want to achieve.

Revisit your "life map" often. Take an hour out - once a week, once a fortnight, once a month... whatever suits your schedule and commitment to the project. Ask yourself how you are going. Are you making a difference? Are you feeling more confident about how you can make changes in your life?